Today, we most surely live in a couples culture. As I was downstairs walking on the treadmill in our gym on Easter Monday, it was hard to miss the many different couples walking by on the sidewalk in front of the big windows. There were mostly men holding hands with women, a few groups of teenage girls, as well as various people walking their dogs. As human beings, we long for love and companionship, no matter how old we are or what our situation is in life. In fact, since the very dawning of time, God realized that the first man, Adam, required woman: “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'” (Genesis 2:18) In that moment, God took one of Adam’s ribs and created the first woman, Eve. Ever since then, there exists a big hole in our hearts, which only love can fill. It may be filled by the love of our life, for those of us who are lucky or blessed enough to find that special person, and for those of us who aren’t, by other family and/or close friends. Many lonely people try to fill up their days with work or other activities to keep themselves busy, and there is certainly nothing wrong with doing that.
We all know what it feels like to be alone in a crowded room full of strangers, attending a new school or church, trying to fit into a new job or role, or even moving to a new town or city. New immigrants must find it terribly overwhelming when trying to adjust to a brand-new language, culture, and country. Without the right kind of help and support, the world can be a very scary and solitary place to abide indeed, and we often fail in our endeavours to fit in. The recent onslaught of bullying in schools and the workplace is a prime example of isolation and loneliness at its worst. The plight of being a single parent must also be challenging and difficult, although a beautiful new baby does have its own rewards! Losing a precious loved one, for whatever reason, is a special type of loneliness, and grief is the great equalizer.
It is extremely lonely and painful to endure a bad marriage, relationship or go through the process of a long and gruelling divorce. During some of the worst times in my first marriage, I felt very alone and powerless, unsure of what to do and where to turn. I was so ashamed and overwhelmed with the situation that I had become trapped in that I did not have the courage to talk to anyone about it or, God forbid, ask for help. I was living in an ongoing nightmare, with no way of escape. Eventually, God opened new doors of opportunity for me, allowing me the fortitude to seek help and get out. In my weakness, He did not fail me. The night before my final “great escape”, I lay awake in bed, reciting Psalm 23: “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want…Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me…”. What a great sense of peace enveloped me as I knew unquestionably that I was not alone.
Most recently, I have been helping my courageous husband, Paul, deal with a number of serious health issues. In fact, he has been in bed with chronic pain and fibromyalgia for the past five and a half years. His illness is very debilitating and isolating for both him and for me as his caregiver. We are limited in what we can do and where we can go together as a couple. Chronic illness or devastating illness of any kind can make a person feel so very alone, trying to navigate their way through a complicated and overburdened medical system, often with few supports. Honestly, there can be nothing worse.
When my older brother, David, was dealing with the horrendous diagnosis of terminal cancer, I had the privilege of spending a month with him and his wife in their home. I was able to share with him the wonderful and life-giving good news about Jesus Christ, as I told him how Jesus was my best friend, and how He could become David’s best friend too. I am positive that David accepted Jesus into his heart as Saviour and is now living in Heaven with Him.
There is also a space in our hearts that only Christ can fill, and until this happens, we are never completely made whole. Psalm 139 describes how God knows us intimately and will never leave us or forsake us:
” You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there…
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made…”
Even Christians sometimes try to hide from God (our Creator), but the Holy Spirit is always present in our lives; a quiet and still voice in our minds and hearts, gently calling us back to Him. The Christian singer, Kari Jobe, sums it up perfectly in her beautiful song: I Am Not Alone:
“When I walk through deep waters
I know that You will be with me
When I’m standing in the fire
I will not be overcome
Through the valley of the shadow
I will not fear
I am not alone
I am not alone
You will go before me
You will never leave me…
In the midst of deep sorrow
I see Your light is breaking through
The dark of night will not overtake me
I am pressing into You
Lord, You fight my every battle
Oh, and I will not fear
I am not alone
I am not alone
You will go before me
You will never leave me…”
Be ensured that when we feel all alone in the world, we can always turn to the Holy Spirit as our complete and never-failing Comforter.